FYI I quit practicing medicine when I was a medical officer.
Alhamdulillah, I survived my housemanship with no extension despite the lack of
passion. How? I just do it.
It was hard at first, because my heart not really into it.
During the third month of my first posting,
I tried to get some advice and take some time off. Luckily, my HOD (Head of Department) at that
time was very helpful and understanding.
Initially, I only asked for 1 week off to think things over
and to tell my parents. It took me few days to tell them because it’s really
hard when you feel like you are letting them down. However, I tried to find the
right time when they keep asking me, how I could have a long break? Finally I
took the courage to tell them them, crying, pouring my feeling out, tell them
how I felt for the past few months. They was shocked initially, didn’t know it
was that bad. Yes, I am not really good at showing my negative emotion or bad
side to others actually. I was used to be perfect, making no mistake, and avoid
failure.
I went to ask the management how is the procedure to resign.
Instead, the hospital management asked me to meet the deputy director and
director, sent me for counselling with the hospital’ s psychologist (they said
it was a normal procedure for any housemen who wish to quit) and subsequently I
was referred to hospital’s psychiatrist since a few issues were brought up that
couldn’t be handled by psychologist alone.
Long story short, I didn’t quit at that time due to many
reasons personally, financially as well as external influence from the
management onto my parents. I continued
to work, but not for my sake, it was for everyone else’s’ sake. I continued to see my psychiatrist. He
understood how much I hate the job, agreed with my feeling, but tried to change
my perspective on continuing the job, change my mindset when going to work
every day. He is certainly good at his job. Seeing the psychiatrist did help,
and of course I had to pop some pills too. I survived 2 years of housemanship and then
became a medical officer.
== any inquiry can email me at nukezonne@gmail.com ==
== any inquiry can email me at nukezonne@gmail.com ==