When you plan to quit, you have to deal with people, either
they are your loved ones (eg: parents, spouse, family members, friend, etc) or
the people around you (your colleague, neighbours, bosses, etc). Of course, the most challenging situation is
telling your parents about your intention. I will not tell you how, because I
am not an expert myself. I will jut share my personal experience about this and
some tips.
Parents. I think it is always challenging to tell our parents
about any big decision. This will be one of them. Doctor is always a profession
that people look up to and dream to be. I bet any parents would be so proud to have at
least one of their children as a doctor. To break the news of quitting being a doctor
is like breaking their heart I would say.
Yes, initially it was hard for me. As I have shared before,
after I have permission to take one week break, it took me three days to tell my
parents about my intention. At first they keep asking me why was I on break,
because it was kind of weird to see me having a long break from work. I keep
avoiding them to tell the truth, and I finally did. I used every strength I
had, telling them I was not happy and this experience had been a torture for
me. Of course, the tears keep flowing and I explained to them how I really
felt.
Of course there are many other things to be considered as
well then. I was a JPA convertible loan bonded, just bought a new car, and had
nothing planned for the future yet. I admit I wasn’t well prepared at that
time. Hence I postponed the decision.
After more than two years, I haven’t forgotten the decision
I put on hold. I have a better plan, even though not as good as it should be. I
have more confidence and I have more money of course J
Before deciding to quit for the second time, there has to be
some drama of course. I was trying hard to stay in the system, tried to
transfer to other place, and however got cancelled due to some circumstances. However,
things just didn't go as I wanted. Then, I just decided to take a break again
and of course with permission. This time, I asked for one month! Alhamdulillah,
my HOD was very considerate and she let me used all my annual leaves left.
At that time, I did not make the decision right away, because
I have to plan it well. Before my leave was almost over, I went to tell my
parents. My father took it nicely, as he was expecting it. My mother took it
hard at first, but I assured her this time it was different from before. I have
prepared well and I have been postponed it for a long time. I hoped she can understand.
Alhamdulillah, she did.
My 2 cents...
When dealing with your parents, I think they key is to make
them listen and understand why you are making such a big decision. Make them understand that you are having a hard time if you continue. It is going to be hard for them at first, so they will need some time to digest. Imagine, their dream of having a doctor in the
family is becoming true, a child they can be proud of and telling other people
about, and now it is only going to be left as a dream. Hence, give them time
and space.
I don’t think giving them the ‘bad’ news is considered being
a bad or disobedient child. Yes living
up to your parents’ dream is one way to repay them back their kindness and
sacrifice for raising you. However, that is not the only way and we are all
already adults, and have the right to make decision for our own life. It may
have sound selfish, but living in a lie and being unhappy is much worse. You
are lying to yourself, to your parents and others. I believe when you are not
happy with your life, the people around you also will be affected.
As a lesson from my experience, if you wish to quit and want
to tell you parents, please do it with some preparations. When you are telling
people to quit this noble job, the most famous question is “What is your plan
after you quit?” Hence you can’t just drop the bomb empty-handed. Do some researches, ask people around for
opinion and advice, and be confident.
During my long break, I took some time to read some books,
going through blogs and surfing the net for information like job opportunities,
part time or full time diploma/master programme. Besides planning for your
future, don’t forget about the present as well. You might have bought a new car
or house, have monthly instalment you commit to, and a family to feed. This has
to be considered as well, especially from the financial aspect. Hence while you
are still deciding to quit, continue your job as tool for you future financial
investment.
When I was doing my research, I came across a quote by the
late Steve Jobs which inspires me till now,
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else secondary”
== any inquiry can email me at nukezonne@gmail.com ==