Life really can take you turn 180 degrees. Owh... children, how I have a love-hate relationship with you.
My last entry was about how I have decided not to have my own children. Have I changed my mind?
Since then, I have learnt a lot about parenting and early childhood education. Weird? This is just how things go. If I don't like something (in this case children), it does not mean I can't love them right? So I just want to get to know them better.
Well, children... you guys are genius! I am amazed on things I am learning. You little human being...so annoying, clingy and attention seeker. No, I don't hate them. I have learnt to accept that they are just being children. We are all once are children. But we always feel that we can't handle them, feeling that they are so demanding?
It comes back to a self-reflection. We have always putting expectations on how one should behave, how one should not do this and that, but we forgot that these children is growing up, just started learning how to live. They are still learning, but we already putting our logic on them. When they did not behave or do the way we want, we get angry or label them as misbehave.
Have we ever put ourselves in children's shoes? When we expect them to sit and open books, learning A B C, numbers, but they want to play instead. Is it wrong to let them play, and not learning how to read? Then we get stressed out things don't go as we planned. When we are stressing out, the energy goes to our loved ones, we lash out to them. Is this the role modelling we want to show our children.
When they are having tantrums, screaming, saying no to everything we say, how do we react? Have we ever tried connecting with them? Ask how they are feeling? Acknowledge their feeling and listen to them? Why do we always react before we connect? Instead of label them as attention seeker, let's try with connection seeker. Children, they just simply want to connect with us.
I am so sorry children for judging you prematurely before. I am an adult with complete development of my executive function, and I should have known better. Thank you for letting me to get to know you, and I know you are amazing! Your process is natural, but us adults, society who are limiting your process and doctorate all sort of nonsense with our adult logic.
I am still in my learning process. So far, my decision for not having my own children still stands. But I know better on how to communicate with children and understand them. The first step is...to unlearn, unschool my thoughts, and relearn. It's a beautiful journey so far, and I realize the child that I am first learning of is myself.
Something big is coming soon. Will continue when I have the time.